If there's one glimmer of hope to pull the economy out of the cost of living crisis, it's children's birthday parties. The amount of effort and cash that goes into hosting a dozen or more children, their siblings and then their parents is equivalent to embarking on a small war. At least, that's how it feels.
And the tragedy in our case is that because Loki was born on the 31st December when there's no one around, we have to have two birthdays for him, the second of which is even more expensive, despite not being his actual birthday. And he's only bleeding three.
Sending your kid to a fee paying nursery in an affluent North London suburb comes with a whole load of hidden costs - including attempting to match the party spend of the property magnates and inherited wealth in your 3 year old's classroom.
Just don't. Stick to pass the parcel (which incidentally must be one of the most evil games for children on the planet - a slow exercise in wrecking each child's expectations - 'am I going to get the present? Oh goody, it's my turn - oh balls').
Loki's birthday invitation reflected our anxiety.
When you consider that most kids of 3 are happy just pouring water from one cup into another one, the birthday party splurge and our 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality is truly grotesque.
Ah well.
Only 5 or so more years of this and then they become little people in their own right who lose friends rapidly and end up on their insular own. Gaming. And the parties are digital.
Woohoo.
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